In an email to the list (you are signed up, right?), I asked you to send in field reports on how micro-stepping had helped with Approach Anxiety. You responded, and here are some excerpts:
I’d encourage you to log onto the Forums if you need help, or can offer assistance to your fellow members.
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Went out last Friday, to a friends party and club, I know its pretty long but this is how it went. Also I think that Approach Anxiety e-book is great, although I still have anxiety about approaching, the fear is a lot smaller than it used to be.
So probably should have used more material with openers to make the conversation last longer, but at least my AA was fairly low. [The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step]
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Before hearing about micro stepping, i had been out the last five times in a row and opened no-one, despite confidence every time that i would get past this hurdle.Sunday:
I went to a local town to run some daygame. I knew not to open with excuse me, and saw the first target. A young woman on her own. The easiest target you can see. I have to open i thought. Then i thought no, i could just quit. But then i remembered the Arnold Schwartzenegger quote about champs and chumps from the introductory book. So i opened: [Awesome! Congrats!]
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So the first set went badly in some ways, and well in others. I mean, i opened confidently, but didn’t get the time of day from her. That was the only set i opened that day, as i made excuses about the lack of women in the town centre and went home. However, i consider it a success, as one approach is much further away from zero approaches than it is from two, so i was pleased. I also broke the trend of not approaching at all, and was pleased with my approach (so from a conditioning point of view, it was a success).
What i learn from this is that approach anxiety is all in my head. There are no bodily sensations to overcome, and desensitisation seems unnecessary. I just have to stop making excuses. I still don’t understand why i make the excuses, though. I’ve weighed up the pros and cons, and approaching is definitely better than not approaching. Perhaps the AA pack will be enlightening…
Shroud
[You’re on your way.]
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Idk I have routines and chick crack for days, yet I am so skeptical to use it and be my ultimate self. I’ve done it in the past and been successful. As Bruce Lee puts it, allow IT to score the hit but I am my own enemy and restrain myself when I could be restraining the obstacles and giving myself room to score a goal.
What is wrong here? How can I fix my situation?
[What are your suggestions for him?]
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Their ride finally comes, I collect my coats and (thank you Style) say “Kiss goodbye” and point to my cheek. They both comply one after the other. I then go home feeling like superman because I felt blown out and then got the set back AMAZING FEELING.
Note: This would not have happened if I did not think about how to do it. .. Use what you know and AMAZING things could happen!
-Unstoppable
P.S. As always thank you so much for your comments and critiques, stay strong brothers!
[Awesome field report – keep us updated!]
