In an email to the list (you are signed up, right?), I asked you to send in field reports on how micro-stepping had helped with Approach Anxiety. You responded, and here are some excerpts:
I’d encourage you to log onto the Forums if you need help, or can offer assistance to your fellow members.
Went out last Friday, to a friends party and club, I know its pretty long but this is how it went. Also I think that Approach Anxiety e-book is great, although I still have anxiety about approaching, the fear is a lot smaller than it used to be.
So probably should have used more material with openers to make the conversation last longer, but at least my AA was fairly low. [The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step]
Before hearing about micro stepping, i had been out the last five times in a row and opened no-one, despite confidence every time that i would get past this hurdle.
I went to a local town to run some daygame. I knew not to open with excuse me, and saw the first target. A young woman on her own. The easiest target you can see. I have to open i thought. Then i thought no, i could just quit. But then i remembered the Arnold Schwartzenegger quote about champs and chumps from the introductory book. So i opened: [Awesome! Congrats!]
So the first set went badly in some ways, and well in others. I mean, i opened confidently, but didn’t get the time of day from her. That was the only set i opened that day, as i made excuses about the lack of women in the town centre and went home. However, i consider it a success, as one approach is much further away from zero approaches than it is from two, so i was pleased. I also broke the trend of not approaching at all, and was pleased with my approach (so from a conditioning point of view, it was a success).
What i learn from this is that approach anxiety is all in my head. There are no bodily sensations to overcome, and desensitisation seems unnecessary. I just have to stop making excuses. I still don’t understand why i make the excuses, though. I’ve weighed up the pros and cons, and approaching is definitely better than not approaching. Perhaps the AA pack will be enlightening…
[You’re on your way.]
Idk I have routines and chick crack for days, yet I am so skeptical to use it and be my ultimate self. I’ve done it in the past and been successful. As Bruce Lee puts it, allow IT to score the hit but I am my own enemy and restrain myself when I could be restraining the obstacles and giving myself room to score a goal.
What is wrong here? How can I fix my situation?
[What are your suggestions for him?]
Their ride finally comes, I collect my coats and (thank you Style) say “Kiss goodbye” and point to my cheek. They both comply one after the other. I then go home feeling like superman because I felt blown out and then got the set back AMAZING FEELING.
Note: This would not have happened if I did not think about how to do it. .. Use what you know and AMAZING things could happen!
P.S. As always thank you so much for your comments and critiques, stay strong brothers!
[Awesome field report – keep us updated!]