This time, The Sneak spoke to April, a popular model, performer, and unrepentant geek. She was born in Phoenix, Arizona and has lived in Los Angeles, California since 2007. Her passion for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Dr. Who is well-documented and a driving creative force in her life.
Stylelife: What’s the most common way that a guy hits on you?
April: A lot of guys talk to me when I’m at bars. I can’t think of anything that peaked my interest though. They say really mundane, average things.
Stylelife: For example?
April: What drink are you drinking? Are you from here? Do you come here a lot?
Stylelife: How does it make you feel when they ask that stuff?
April: Bothered. It’s like, oh you’re talking to me and I should just talk back out of niceness. But, you haven’t peaked my interest with anything exciting or interesting.
Stylelife: Try to think of a guy you know who is exciting and interesting. On paper, he is great, but you still aren’t sexually interested.
Stylelife: What is he missing? What is that ingredient?
April: Let me think. It’s a level or a balance of their desire to have you desire them. There are some people that, yeah you’re great, and you like me, but maybe you like me too much.
Stylelife: That’s a turnoff.
April: A little bit yeah. If you’re okay with somebody not liking you, even though you really like them, that’s desirable.
Stylelife: It’s extremely important.
April: It’s a weird chase thing.
Stylelife: Do you think a guy can benefit from studying the art of seduction?
April: I do, yeah. I think you can improve at anything if you actually try and do the research. You can up your skill level, you just have to put enough effort into it. Practice it enough. Learn to hold conversations, be an interesting person, say the right things. You could be using to get in some girls pants or you could just want to be a more talkative and interesting.
Stylelife: The phrase get in a girls pants has some negative connotation to me. Do you think it’s a bad thing if a guy wants to try to seduce and sleep with a girl he meets?
April: No, no, but I do feel like there is a weirdness. It’s a predatory kind of thing to it that throws me off a little, of like, I want that girl over there. I’m going to have sex with that girl and I’m going to do all these things to have sex with that girl even if they are not really me. Does that make sense?
Stylelife: Why do you think you think that? What part of your mind makes you wary of that?
It’s much preferable that they value you as a person first and the desire for sex follows. Their attitude is that they want to have sex with the girl, whether she’s cool or not, regardless if they have anything in common or anything like that, they just want her boobs in their face…it’s just…it doesn’t make a girl feel good really.
Stylelife: You want to be valued for more than your physical looks?
Stylelife: And it’s important to you that a guy has things in common with you.
April: Mm hmm.
Stylelife: If a guy wants you based on your looks alone, that’s a definite turnoff for you. And you feel many guys who would learn this stuff would specifically target women based on their looks alone.
Stylelife: Let me pose this riddle to you. If he was good enough, if he was really taking the art seriously and studying it, wouldn’t he go for the girl he really cares about?
April: Yeah. I mean, yeah. I guess, I guess, yeah. That’s like the media perception I have of just the general dude.
Stylelife: I’m going to pull the curtain for you right now and reveal something. I’ve been in this industry for years and I’ve never met this guy that women are afraid of and think exists. The guy who has the power to get them, even though he only values them for their looks.
April: Really? You’ve heard of this guy before right? It’s not just me.
Stylelife: No, it’s not just you. He seems to exist in the minds of all women.
Stylelife: I think the idea of having power taken away from anyone is something that causes people to respond in a certain way.
Stylelife: The idea that a guy who maybe couldn’t have gotten you could get you now.
Stylelife: It’s like, did I just lose power?
April: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stylelife: But really, you didn’t. When a guy gets good at this, what’s really happening is that he’s found a way to present himself that’s attractive enough that you get to know who he is and realize that you vibe with each other, as opposed to him coming up and doing something stupid like asking what you’re drinking and then never having had a chance to show you his personality.
Stylelife: Let me pose something more to you, you said earlier that women are fairly intuitive.
April: Mm hmm.
Stylelife: And that they know when someone is faking it.
Stylelife: So, that guy who only is valuing for your looks fails anyway. That guy doesn’t even get you.
April: That’s true.
Stylelife: And if he’s truly good enough, why isn’t he just going after a girl that is also cool?
Stylelife: I’ve made this interview way too much about my opinion.
April: No, this is fascinating. That was a fascinating revelation today. Thank you.
Stylelife: Let’s get back to you.
April: Okay, but I’m still thinking about that stuff now.
Stylelife: Well good, then let’s keep talking about that.
April: Well, I just think it’s interesting. I think it’s just a misconception or a general stereotype. What you said is actually a lot more logical, it makes me think. I’m going to see people a little bit differently now.
Stylelife: Have you had previous encounters with people who you know studied this?
April: Kelly was telling me that she was talking to someone, I think it was you or Ray…
Stylelife: Ooh, our readers may know him as Gypsy.
April: Yeah, Kelly was talking about how someone had said something to her that she recognized from the book, because she’s read it, some sort of like trick or something like that. She recognized it from that and called him out on it.
Stylelife: How did he respond?
April: He laughed it off. They started talking about it or something like that.
Stylelife: Oh great! Let’s take a note from that. A lot of guys freak out at that moment and I like that he handled it that way.
April: Yeah, now they had something in common to talk about.
Stylelife: What a great move.
April: Yeah. So, that worked out well.
Stylelife: What happened to that guy? Did he hook up with Kelly?
April: I’m not sure. If it was Ray, I think they made out a whole bunch.
Stylelife: Okay, so maybe.
April: She was wearing his leggings, so…
Stylelife: The key there is moving forward with the conversation instead of feeling caught or guilty. It’s a good display of confidence. Of course, just be confident is terribly cliche bit of advice.
April: As far as confidence goes, what’s important is to avoid having an air of desperation. If I’m talking to somebody and I can sense in them that if it doesn’t work out they are going to be like super hurt, that’s no good. There needs to be like an “oh well” kind of mentality. Like, if this doesn’t work out, “oh well.” It shouldn’t be “oh my god, why didn’t you like me, I’m so sad now.”
Stylelife: It’s confident if the guy’s life is in a position where he can be fine with it not working out between the two of you. He is still going to be ok. He has other options.
Stylelife: And not needing you becomes very attractive and actually amplifies his chances of getting you.
April: Exactly, exactly.
Stylelife: So, desperation isn’t very sexy. What’s the sexiest thing that anyone has ever done for you?
April: For me or to me?
Stylelife: Which would you like me to ask? To you.
Stylelife: I’ll be honest, I don’t know what the question means, but I love asking it.
April: Okay, because there’s different things that I can think of. There’s things that people say to me, like the way that their brain works is sexy, like when I find out that somebody isn’t into monogamy. I think that that’s a sexy thing. But, then there’s also like that one time when somebody ****** me with their knee on my chest and that was really awesome and I had a bruise. Things like that.
Stylelife: Why do you think it was so sexy to have a knee in your chest that bruised you?
April: I personally like to be rather submissive in the bedroom and like to be just kind of held down sometimes. I don’t know. I like it.
Stylelife: Why do you think that is?
April: I think because I’m such an independent person and like a little bit of a control freak. Not a control freak, but I like to take care of things and be in control. I don’t like needing people for other things.
Stylelife: Outside of the bedroom?
April: Outside of the bedroom. So I think when I go into the bedroom, I like to have the opposite of that and just like to be taken care of and just told what to do and not worry about it. Because, I worry about everything so much on the outside, but when I go there, I kind of want to turn it off.
Stylelife: An expression of your feminine energy.
April: Yeah, I’m asking you to tell me what to do. There’s an interesting thing in sexual submission. The person submitting is actually the one with the power.
Stylelife: Um, tell me about that.
April: The person dominating, while they may be the one saying do this or do that or whatever, the submissive is the one that ultimately has the power to be say, “no I don’t want that actually.” Like this is the code word, or these are the things I am willing to do to have done to me. So they actually technically have that power.
Stylelife: How does somebody form that trust? How does somebody get into the position of being a dom, if that’s something they want to do and they’ve never done before? How do you forge that with someone?
April: If you’re talking about interpersonal relationship with people you know, then it’s definitely a thing that needs to be discussed a lot to get ground rules and wants and dislikes discovered and there is definitely a trust thing.
Stylelife: How do you know the difference between something that’s disrespectful and something that’s dominant? How do you determine that line?
April: That is based on one’s personal desires. It all depends on the specific person.
Stylelife: Anything you’ve always wanted a guy to do to you sexually that no one has ever done?
April: I think because of the whole like cosplay thing, I’m kind of into the whole role playing thing, but I’ve never really had anybody that’s willing to try it with me.
Stylelife: Okay. You get to pick right now anything you want in your imagination, what are you dressed as?
Stylelife: Who else?
April: There’s Princess Lea and Han. Caparica Six and Gaius Baltar. April O’Neil and Michelangelo.
Stylelife: You should have gone with Casey Jones, he is human.
April: Okay, there’s two things I want to say now. Irma and April O’Neil is actually my fantasy, not Casey, Irma.
Stylelife: I’m sorry, I’m a huge Turtle’s fan, so I’m embarrassed to admit I don’t know this, but who is Irma?
April: Irma was her like little school friend. She was a red head and she was just a mousy kind of girl. Um, I feel like she has just got a freak side to her that nobody knows about.
April: And then there’s this funny little thing that I’m going to tell you real fast. There was this little comic that I found and it’s April and Irma sitting at a table and she says, “guys there’s something I have to tell you. Donny and I finally had sex the other day” and they respond “What? How could you do that?” Irma says, “what because he’s a turtle? Because he’s a mutant?” And they answer, “because he’s a teenager!”
April: I thought that was like the greatest thing. Nobody thinks about that part. They’re underage.
Stylelife: Yeah, but have you seen the staff on that guy?
Stylelife: I didn’t say that. Scratch that from the records. That was terrible.
April: No, I like that one. That was good.
Typically, Stylelife Girl of the Month interviews are only available in their entirety to Stylelife members. This month’s edition was offered to the general public as a special, one-time publication.
Click here if you’d like to read the rest of the Stylelife Girl interviews.