Emma writes…

Part II

A female observer or participant has never been inside the social sanctum of a Stylelife Bootcamp. But I’ve been working with the team for a while now, and they extended the invitation for me to tag along. I was a little nervous and unsure what to expect.

A Woman’s Experiences at Stylelife Pickup Bootcamp

When I arrived at the bootcamp, the ten students and three coaches were breaking down successes and areas of opportunity from the previous night in the field. I listened to guys talk excitedly about succeeding in their goals and deconstruct the process they used in their approaches. Other guys were still a little stuck and the coaches purposefully and intentionally pointed out the places where the interaction fell apart and used the group to help discover how interaction could have gone differently.

Breaking Down Stereotypes
Throughout the afternoon, a few of the guys periodically looked over at me, a little nervous and curious. I could tell that there were some questions they wanted to ask me. I thought it would be about their previous night’s approaches or insight into a woman’s mind. When we took a break, the guy next to me turned and asked if I had ever heard of something like the bootcamp before. Did I even know that coaching on picking up women existed?

I explained that I am also in the business of dating, and therefore, my knowledge base is likely different than the average person’s. So while I know that there are a plethora of resources for men to develop themselves, I am not sure that every woman realizes the extent of such resources like the Stylelife Bootcamp. Two then three guys gathered around curious and asking questions: What women would think if they knew that a guy they were talking with had been at a seduction bootcamp? Did I think it was “weird” that they were there? Did I find it off-putting the way we discussed picking up girls? Did I think it was manipulative? Would I think differently of someone if I knew they used resources like Stylelife Academy and BootCamp?

Women use hundreds of different resources to learn about men, I explained. We read books, watch movies, ask our friends, ask our hair stylists, take pole dancing classes to feel more sexy, take sex seminars to be better in bed, use our entire fifty minutes in therapy breaking down one date. Our conversations with friends are laden in relationship and dating talk. It’s normal. Just because men might not talk about it as much, doesn’t mean they don’t do similar things. For men, going to a bootcamp or talking with your coach is no different than getting washboard abs from your personal trainer. In fact, most women I know are thrilled to learn that guys actually care to improve their art of seduction.

Making Men More Desirable
At the bootcamp, Evolve said that his goal with a woman is to be the romantic character that will make all of her friends jealous. “I want to make my friends jealous!” I thought. When I go on dates, most guys don’t have clear intentions. Usually they just talk about themselves and carelessly order a random bottle of wine. They ask questions but don’t actually listen to the answer. I rarely leave a date feeling special and appreciated and intrigued. I usually feel blasé.

Women want guys who put effort into the dating process. Effort shows us that our time is valued and that we are valued. Stylelife Bootcamp unveils how and where to put this effort and what it means to create an experience for the woman. As I sat there listening to the coaches present some of the key concepts in creating this experience, I wished every guy I dated would go to a Stylelife Bootcamp or at least show an interest in self-improvement in the realm of dating. Most guys who think they know what they are doing do not. Many either have too large of an ego to admit it or lack the self-awareness necessary to fuel a desire to improve. What I learned in the bootcamp is that there are actually a lot of ways to improve interactions with women, and the dating world would be a better place for women if men would be more open to learning how to be better at seducing, dating and being a great boyfriend. Stylelife Bootcamps, I concluded, are actually making men more desirable to date.

Practice, Practice, Practice
Boosting confidence, becoming a better seducer and building more meaningful relationships is not an overnight revelation. It takes practice. So at the end of an information-packed day, I went in the field with the coaches and participants to practice some of the skills they had learned. With varying levels of skills and comfort, some guys were right out in the mix going up to sets of women and others were a bit shyer. I used this as an opportunity to really let them practice. Being a neutral party, but still a woman, we walked through what they would say. When they had questions I called over the coaches to make sure that they were on the right track and hitting the crucial component for success. But for the most part, I just listened to them practice then I told them which things piqued my interest and which they could have left out. Then when we finished, I pushed them in the direction of a real target and watched them succeed.

Our night in the field highlighted the importance in being comfortable having many different things to talk about. You never know where a conversation is going to go and feeling confident taking it in many different directions keeps the woman engaged. But this isn’t always natural or easy. Sometimes you don’t get it right. Like everything we become good at, talking with someone you are romantically interested in takes practice. Practice is key! Where most guys would give up after an interaction didn’t go well, A Stylelife Bootcamp is a unique space to stick it out. There are supportive coaches guiding with in the moment feedback and other guys helping each other out. Sticking with it and repeating it over and over until you feel awesome leads to success.

In the middle of the third day, I overheard a conversation between two of the participants. Without apprehension or reservation, they were openly discussing the specifics they were committed to taking back and practicing. I looked around at the guys engaging in conversations with each other. From practicing their skills with real time coaching, the overall tone of the group had shifted in confident and enthusiastic direction!

And for the women, only some of us will be lucky enough to meet a guy who has actually taken this kind of time to improve his seduction and make women feel valued and special. I can only hope I am one of them.

Continue Reading: Part 1. Skillful Seduction. A Female Perspective.

My commitment: to make this worth the read. Humorous, fun and introspective. I welcome your thoughts, ideas and feedback via the comments functionality below.