Emma writes…

Being swept off your feet: We can’t stop thinking about him, bringing up his name in conversation or replaying his sweet words over and over again. Every story and every topic brought to conversation relates back to the guy we can’t stop thinking about. We can’t get the guy out of our head – thinking about him in the shower, on the walk to work, at work, at lunch, in the gym. When we check our text messages not because we are wondering if he messaged but because we are so excited to see what he messaged. We rearrange our evening plans to see him before his business trip. We stay out too late but wake up extra early to go home and shower and look presentable at our 8 a.m. meeting. During the meeting? You guessed. We count down the hours until we can see him again.

What is the magic recipe that precipitates a woman being swept off of her feet?

It starts with intentional listening. What are her favorite things: What food does she love? What music does she listen to? What does she talk about more than anything else? What are the things most important to her in her life? Where does she spend her time? What is her love language? Some of these things you can pick up quickly through casual connection, but most of the things that really tug at her heartstrings reveal themselves over time.

As a guy intent on sweeping her off her feet, you must listen. And be patient. Bombarding a woman with questions on the first or second date then showing up with peonies and a bottle of Bombay (she said she loved gin martinis!) is too much. To sweep a woman off of her feet, it is necessary to listen to what she likes and doesn’t like. Every woman likes a little romance, but many are turned off by too much too soon. Others like full court press. You must master reading her signals and listening for what gestures she will respond to.

Forget the grand gesture. Grand gestures – window serenades, dozens of red roses, waiting with a limousine outside her work place – should be saved for special occasions when you are already in a steady relationship. In the early stages, a well-intentioned, meaningful gesture shows you listened to a woman goes a long way. Women will respond impressed that you listened and took time to do something thoughtful on her behalf. A friend’s boyfriend used to know she loved choco tacos and bring them to her when she was having a bad day. It was simple yet impactful. She liked how he wanted to make her feel better and remembered her favorite sweet treat. Well-timed and well-intentioned gestures make women smile and ensure she will later recount the sweetness to her friends who will oooo and awww and tell her how great you are. Do not underestimate the power of the friend’s approval. Give her a great story to brag.

Persevere. Sometimes we are swept off of our feet on the first date. When I was eighteen, I went on a date with a guy who took me to the quad at Washington University to watch the stars and pointed out planets and constellations. On the way back to the car, he suggested we tango. He asked if I wanted to be the guy or the girl. I laughed the entire time. At home that night, I laid awake thinking about him and then thought about him for eight straight days until I could see him again. I was eighteen. Later in life, women have had more experiences, more heartaches, and repetition. Creating something brand new and exciting that we have never done before is cool. And we appreciate effort. But most of the time, when women are swept off their feet, it doesn’t happen on the first, second or third date. It happens over time. Preserve. Sometimes things don’t always seem like they click perfectly right away. Show who you are. Show that you are interesting. Be interested in her. Be patient.

Recently, I was dating a guy for a couple months. I had a great time with him, but there were ten days when I didn’t call him. Not on purpose. I was busy and dating and lazy to coordinate our opposing schedules. On the eleventh day, I called him. We went out that Friday and something felt different. Two months into casually dating, we started seeing each other more regularly and after about three months, he brought me fresh squeezed orange juice in bed and I looked up at him and then, at that moment, felt swept off my feet. It wasn’t the orange juice. He had squeezed orange juice for me before. It was the consistency of his kindness. At first, I didn’t buy it. I have dated a lot of people and I’m a bit skeptical of guy’s kindness because in the past, I have found that it doesn’t really last. This guy was intent on showing me that it does last, and it took me a few months to accept that.

Now he’s all I think about. I arrange my schedule to see him. I talk about him with anyone who will listen. I spend hours thinking about what to do for his birthday and how I can make him feel as loved as he makes me feel. It didn’t happen over night, but I became swept off my feet.

Emma

My commitment: to make this worth the read. Humorous, fun and introspective. I welcome your thoughts, ideas and feedback via the comments functionality below. You can find me on the web at www.emmadilemma.com.