During the course of a date, you may run out of things to say. You may feel your attention begin to wane and your mind wander. Or worse, you may notice your date going through these things. Even if you’re really interested in the woman and you’re really on your game, it can happen.

You can employ the Resuscitation Routine to revive the energy and interest of your date. There isn’t anything mystical about this routine. It simply combines three different aspects of things you already learned here at the Stylelife Academy into a solid routine for generating fun.

• Attention to detail
• Creativity
• Storytelling

The Routine
Throughout the majority of social artistry studies, you are encouraged to notice the little things about people. Notice the way her smile lights up when you mention a certain charity. Notice the way he frowns when you talk about hunting. Paying attention to people is a crucial social skill.

In addition to noticing detail, you’ve been taught to use your creativity. Many assignments have stressed being able to generate material on-the-fly. So you should feel the creative juices starting to flow.

And finally, we’ve stressed the importance of storytelling. Being able to captivate someone’s attention through your words and language is incredibly useful.

The Resuscitation Routine combines all of these aspects.

Scan Your Surroundings
Where ever you are when you date begins to lag, scan your surroundings. Look for other people. What are they doing? How are they acting? It doesn’t matter if you’re in the hippest nightclub in the biggest city or if you’re in a parking lot in a small, rural town, you’ll be able to look at other people.

Your goal in scanning your surroundings is to find other people to talk about.

Keep in mind that there are several archetypes of people you’ll see out and about.

• The Show Off: This person is determined to bring attention to himself. He’s an easy target for this exercise because he’s so noticeable. In a bar, the Show Off will loudly brag about how much he can drink or how many women he can score. In a strip joint, the Show Off will flash a wad of case. In a bookstore, the Show Off will loudly hold court on the Modernists. He’s everywhere trying to attract attention. In a recent visit to Kentucky Fried Chicken, I watched the man working the drivethru window twirl his tongs like a mixture of Tommy Lee and the movie Cocktail. He desperately wanted everyone waiting for their Original Recipe to say, “Ooooh, look at him, with the headset and the apron. He spins his tongs! He’s cool.” The Show Off is very similar in behavior to the Center of Attention.

• The Sour Puss: This person is determined to make everyone in the place miserable. Usually identified by a constant frown, the Sour Puss will complain that the bar is either too crowded or too empty. In a coffee shop, the Sour Puss will whine about the cappuccino being too hot or too cold. In a grocery store, the Sour Puss will claim they have better produce at the other store across town. In short, the Sour Puss is miserable and wants you to be miserable too. At a hip New York City speakeasy, I recently encountered a Sour Puss. Even the simplest things met with her scorn. Someone said they were from Phoenix and this lady spewed out, “I hate Phoenix. Arizona sucks!” Regardless of the topic, this Sour Puss had nothing but negative things to say.

• The Wall Flower: This person rarely gets up from their table. Usually dragged into a social setting by well-meaning friends, the Wall Flower is painfully shy and would rather fade away into the darkness than have to speak to a stranger. In a bar, the Wall Flower will be seated in the deepest, darkest corner. At a ballgame, the Wall Flower will cower and remain seated while every other fan stands and cheers.

These are just a few of the archetypes you’ll see in social settings. When you scan your surroundings, look for these types of people. They will make your storytelling much easier.

Scan the bar, coffee shop, restaurant, store, or wherever you are when your date begins to lag. Find an interesting person, maybe using one of the archetypes outlined above, and identify them. That person is now the focus of your feature story.

Make Up a Story
Let’s say that you’ve found someone in the restaurant who fits the Sour Puss archetype. You can see them frowning at their food and you can tell by the waiter’s body language that he just can’t please this customer. Now, create a story for that Sour Puss.

Authors sometimes practice an exercise where they randomly pick a photograph and write a story about it. You can use these same techniques in creating the story for your story. Ask yourself the following questions:

• What is the person’s name?
• What do you see them doing?
• What is one detail about their clothing that catches your attention?
• What is one detail about their mannerisms or body language that catches your attention?
• If you could hear them talking, what do you imagine you would hear?
• If you were sitting with them, what would you feel? What would you smell? What would you taste?

You should be able to quickly go through these questions in your mind. You don’t need to answer them all, but you should be able to create enough details to launch your story.

This exercise forces you to use your creativity, a bit of body language observation, attention to detail, even some cold reading techniques.

Include Your Partner
So, you’re at a nice restaurant and you can feel your date starting to get bored. Or, maybe you’re running out of things to say. You’ve noticed a Sour Puss on the other side of the room. You’ve quickly answered some of the questions and created the beginnings of a story. Now, it’s time to include your partner. Simply follow the script below. Be sure to lean in and whisper when you start the routine. Your goal is to create a feeling of conspiracy, as though you and your date are privy to secret information.

YOU: Check out that lady over there. She’s really having an awful night.

HER: Which one?

YOU: The woman in the blue dress. The blonde, at the table by the window. She’s sitting with a guy in a brown suit.

HER: Why do you think she’s having a bad night?

Now, this is when you include some detail from your story. Perhaps you noticed a colorful, handmade bracelet on her wrist that clashes with her dress. Maybe you noticed her fidgeting with the numerous pieces of silverware on the table. Maybe she has really wild, untamed hair.

YOU: You can tell she’s a hippie-type. Real free spirit. And she’s miserable at this formal restaurant. Check out that bracelet. She looks like the type that would much rather enjoy a laid-back dinner in casual clothes. But she’s been forced into that dress. And she doesn’t know what to do with the formal place setting.

HER: Okay.

At this point, all you’ve really done is demonstrate your powers of observation. That’s a nice demonstration of higher value since too many guys are simply oblivious to their surroundings. But while your date might be impressed, she’s not likely engaged in the routine yet. You have to ask her a question to bring her into the game. And if it’s a question about dating and relationships, that will be even more successful.

YOU: Who do you think the guy is? Is that her date? He seems more comfortable here. Why do you think he brought her to this restaurant?

HER: Maybe he was trying to impress her by taking her to a really nice restaurant.

YOU: But is it going to work? Sure, it’s a nice place, but if she’s miserable, what good is it?

She’ll either respond that “he made a nice gesture, so yeah, he should get points for it” or “he really screwed up, he’s got no idea of what kind of person she is, he’s toast.”

Spin Off a Philosophical Conversation
At this point, you’ve basically engaged your date in an Opinion Opener. Opinion openers work because they create a fun conversation with a debatable topic. Using your surroundings, you’ve just created the opportunity to engage in a philosophical conversation. And by using your surroundings, it makes the conversation seem to grow organically, as opposed to you just tossing out random arguments to fill the silence.

So based on our example, you can then start discussing the nature of dates. Is it better to make a grand gesture and get it all wrong? Or do women find it preferable to be more individual to them? But what if you misinterpret what kind of date they would like?

Bring it back to your focus couple. Is she going to go out with him again? Will he learn from his mistake of taking her to a place that’s not her style?

The conversational possibilities are limitless.

Other Examples
So maybe it’s not every day you’re going to see a frustrated hippie in a super-formal restaurant. There are plenty of other situations you can look for.

If you see a couple that is really enjoying each other’s company, point them out. “Those two really seem like they’re in love,” you can say. “Do you think they’ve been dating long?” After your partner answers, you can say, “What if he suddenly proposed to her, while we’re watching. I was in a restaurant one time and saw a proposal. In some ways, that’s really nice, but in other ways, it seems like to me that should be a private moment between the couple and not a bunch of strangers. What do you think?” And you’re off.

If you see a guy exhibiting the qualities of the Show Off, direct your partner’s attention towards him. “I bet that guy was an only child,” you say. “He’s absolutely got to have everyone looking at him, applauding him.” After she answers, you can inquire, “So do you think a child’s personality is more shaped by nature or nurture? Is there some innate quality that makes that guy a show-off? Or did his parents just raise him that way.” Then you and your partner can discuss families and child-rearing styles for hours.

If you’re at a café in a bookstore, and you see someone studying, you can ask, “What do you think that person is studying?” After you and your partner brainstorm the subject for a moment, you can follow up with, “Why do you think some people always have to go to a coffee shop to study? Why do some people seem so reluctant to stay at home?”

And so forth. It’s quite simple. See someone interesting, discuss them for a moment, and then spin off into a larger, more philosophical conversation.

The Bottom Line
You’re sitting at a beautiful restaurant with a lovely lady. You feel like James Bond in your nice suit and she looks great in her dress. But you notice the energy start to lag. Awkward silences fall upon the table. You could desperately try to save the conversation by blurting out, “So do you think women appreciate being dragged to some place they don’t like on a date?” But this maneuver seems awkward and noticeable.

Instead, you find our couple above, figure out a little story about them, notice some details, lean in and whisper to your date, and start the routine. Quickly, you’ve left the couple behind and you’re having fun debating dating concepts with your partner. You used your surroundings to organically move into a philosophical conversation that is engaging and challenging. And you created a sense of conspiracy and secrecy as you and your date observed the other couple.

Your date has now been effectively resuscitated.