This time, Mojofist talked to Noemi, a European now living in Southern California. She enjoys reading philosophy and other nonfiction books. She credits a heavy reading habit with helping to improve her English and describes herself as “eager to learn new subjects.” Noemi works as a makeup artist in the entertainment industry and is also a model and actress.
Stylelife: You grew up in Hungary, right?
Noemi: Yes, I grew up in a small Hungarian town. All my family members are Hungarian. But I live on my own here.
Stylelife When did you move to America?
Noemi: Three years ago.
Stylelife: What is the difference in dating between Hungary and America?
Noemi: It is a very fast decision dating game here, especially in Los Angeles. At home, you met the same people or at least you could find out how to see someone you were interested in again. Here it is funny, everyone is hitting on people at grocery stores, on the streets, everywhere. I guess they’re afraid they won’t ever see each other again and they only have this one time chance.
Stylelife: What is the one thing that you men do in Hungary or in Europe that you wish men in Los Angeles would do? What could American men learn from European men?
Noemi: When a man knows the proper ethic. He’s still being respectful towards women, or anyone around him, he is aware of other people. It’s a fine line and you can’t over do it.
Stylelife: What’s an example of over doing it?
Noemi: Behavior and personality must come from having confidence, but not from having an ego problem.
Stylelife: You mentioned the speed in which people make dating decisions in Los Angeles, that everyone is hitting on everyone. What’s the funniest or strangest way you’ve been hit on?
Noemi: Well, just yesterday I was heading out to have my lunch. I had a short time limit and just sat straight down at a single table. My whole mouth was full of salad. I was enjoying my food, but eating very quickly. And I was just looking up and heard someone asking me about something and shoving a business card at me. It was so embarrassing… I gulped down my chunk of kale and stuff and took his card. He even apologized and said, “Sorry to be creepy.” I guess he saw the shock in my eyes.
Stylelife: “Sorry to be creepy, but I just had to talk to you?” Did he say something like that?
Noemi: Yes, he said something exactly like that.
Stylelife: Is there anything that he could have done to make you feel more comfortable? I’m assuming you’re not interested in him, or planning on calling him or anything, right?
Stylelife: How so?
Noemi: I like to get to know people, even if I am not interested in them. Otherwise, it’s just too fast. But I am just out of a relationship recently.
Stylelife: What is it like dating in a second language? You’ve mentioned to me before that English is not your native language. So how do language challenges affect your dating life?
Noemi: My English started at zero so I am very thankful for men who take the time and energy to focus on what I am trying to say and maybe even help me to develop my language skills. They get respect in my eyes and they are the ones I would consider dating in a relationship.
Stylelife: A lot of men feel like language is an insurmountable hurdle. Like, it simply cannot be overcome. There’s no hope. But could you be attracted to someone, even if you have trouble communicating with them?
Like in the movies…
The man only speaks French, the woman only speaks English, yet they fall madly in love. Or, at least lust. Do you think that can happen in real life?
Noemi: I want to share everything with the right man, not just physical. Lust works like the movies, sure. But in a deeper sense, language is an interesting thing. You can communicate with someone, not always with words, but with your feelings. There’s just a way of connecting.
My best friend just got married with an American. They are a dream couple. She is Hungarian and has been living here for eleven years.
Stylelife: What do you admire about their relationship? What makes you describe them as a dream couple?
Noemi: They grow together and speak together. They have that compassion and faith in each other. They are simply radiating love when you are around them. It’s a union from two wills.
Stylelife: Wow. Have you ever felt that way about a man? Have you ever been in a relationship where people would look and say, “Noemi and that guy just radiate love?”
Noemi: No. I was too young in both mind and soul to understand the meaning of relationships and all.
Stylelife: What is your one piece of advice you would offer to men about dating?
Noemi: Be the type of man you would want to date. Ha ha.