The Most Overlooked Step in Texting

We constantly get questions about sending text messages to potential dates. “I just met this girl before class the other day,” a person recently wrote. “As soon as class started, we had to be quiet and couldn’t keep talking. But I did get her number. What kind of text can I send to make a good impression?”

This guy’s question is pretty common., but here’s the thing:

He is already one step behind.

Most people make this mistake when they start thinking about sending a text message to a potential date. The vast majority of people start out behind in the text message game because they overlooked this one crucial step:

Seed Your Text in Your Meeting Conversation

The most overlooked step is seeding an inside joke, a reference, a funny comment, a shared opinion or adventure, just something that you can use in your first text message. Let’s look at the scenario above, our friend the college student. Here is an example of a text message he should not send… This is the wrong way to go:

“Hey, this is Dave, we met in World Literature the other day. Professor Andrew’s class? I wanted to see, blah, blah, blah.”

You never want to have to introduce yourself or remind them of who you are in a text message. Instead, you want to refer back to something you discussed with the lady during your interaction, no matter how brief it may have been. It’s like an inside joke, something that only the two of you will get. It also generates positive feelings in the other person’s mind when they receive your text. If you were laughing over a shared joke, then when it pops up on the other person’s phone, they’re going to laugh and smile again.

So for our university pal, instead of simply reminding her that they met in Mr. Andrew’s calculus class, he could say something like:

“You know, during Monday’s entire lecture, I just kept thinking that Romeo and Juliet could have avoided the whole thing if they had cell phones like us.”

Or whatever. The point is that an effective text message doesn’t introduce yourself to her. It builds upon your previous interactions. So make sure you plant a seed that you can refer to in your text. At the very least, be sure to take away some details from your conversation so you can refer to them.

This one often overlooked step will put you far ahead in the text messaging game.



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