Why an Indirect Approach is Almost Always Best

Have you found yourself contemplating the difference between a ‘direct’ approach and an ‘indirect’ approach? Have you engaged in philosophical debates about the subject in online forums? Then here’s a scientific answer for you…

If you’re interested in seeing how science proves Stylelife strategies, check out:

Attraction & Seduction Study Series

But first, let’s address one thing. At Stylelife, we teach what has been proven to work countless times in the field. We’re not about dogma and preaching “Oh, that never works!” or “This is the only way to go!” Our leader Neil always advises to go with what works. We’re also not going to make some outlandish claim like “This works 100% of the time!” So ultimately, there is a time and place for a more direct effort and a time and a place for a more oblique way of going about it. By “work,” we mean get you actual results (a new sexual or romantic partner in your life). A lot of people think something worked because a woman was polite enough to speak to them for a few minutes. But as Neil always tells our students, “Just because you’re interacting doesn’t mean you’re attracting.”

Having said that, science proves that ‘indirect’ is more commonly successful than ‘direct.’

As we have examined in our review of scientific literature, the world’s top researchers have validated the very techniques Stylelife provides. British scientists at institutions such as the University of Central Lancashire and the University of Edinburgh proved that sexually-loaded and more obvious ways of initiating a conversation are actually the “least likely” to lead to further interaction.

A review in the Journal of Evolutionary Psychology summed up the experiments: Demonstrations of helpfulness, generosity, and other qualities are “significantly more attractive than straightforward propositions.” Here’s why:

With a more oblique method, you have a chance to prove the highly desired qualities that have been found to be attractive in 37 different countries around the world. Remember our previous email? Certain qualities are valued by women in cultures from Europe, North America, South America, Africa, and Asia. Coming in with an indirect opener such as The Jealous Girlfriend or The Cashmere Sweater allows you to make a connection, establish rapport, create attraction and THEN show interest AFTER you have received enough indicators of interest (IOI) to know she’s into you.

In contrast, a direct approach puts the burden on her to immediately size you up, to immediately make a judgment about you, and to immediately decide if she wants to continue chatting. Direct approaches can be very effective if you have clearly demonstrated high social value and pre-selection prior to walking up and saying, “I’d like to get to know you better.” But that can be a lofty pre-requisite to achieve in the field.

In short, here’s how we put strategies into context.

Attraction & Seduction Study Series

What can the MOST men do that works the MOST times in the MOST situations with the MOST women? Science proves that’s a more indirect route. Doesn’t mean direct is never, ever, ever useful. Just that if you find yourself stressing over it or worrying about it too much, or you don’t want to risk an ineffective interaction, then you should stick to an indirect strategy like The Jealous Girlfriend.

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