You know how there is that break-up cliche that says, “It’s not you, it’s me”? Most of the time, that’s nonsense. But in some instances with dating, the problem is, indeed you. If you’re not getting the social results you want, examine your mindset and attitudes to see if you’re falling into any of these 4 negative frames of references. Because these are sure-fire rejection generators.
1. Practicing Without Focus
Many guys put themselves into unfocused practice situations. Learning any skill is a step-by-step process, you can’t learn it all in one night. Choose some material you like and make plans to practice it, over and over again. Focus your practice nights and trust the material you’re working with. Remember, anything with enough practice will feel natural, it just takes time and focus.
2. Believing It’s Her Fault
If she rejects you, then it’s your fault. You’re the seducer, its up to you to figure out how you failed and to work on solving whatever problem came up on your next attempt. Writing field reports helps you see where you’re going wrong and often they point out patterns in the mistakes you’re making. Don’t get bent out of shape and start name calling because she rejected you, it’s your fault you failed not hers.
3. Taking Rejection Personally
Most of the time you’re not being rejected, it’s a pattern that’s being rejected. That pattern is guys coming up and showing interest right away. The more a woman is hit on, the more guys she has to reject, and she has to find some basis for the rejection. To solve this problem, practice your openers, with a focus on starting a comfortable conversation that does not show interest.
4. Being Impatient
It’s pretty simple. Speed isn’t important, timing is everything. Being a great seducer has nothing to do with how fast one can get a girl into bed, rather it’s about the quality of his seductions. Great seductions take exactly as long as they need to. Guys who push physically appear horny and desperate, while guys who are patient appear sexual. They have no need to rush the inevitable.