Our recent article detailing 4 Reasons to Delete Your Dating Apps generated a huge amount of email commentary. Some readers agreed with the advice. Others, not so much. Healthy, constructive debate is always a good thing at Stylelife.
During our upcoming seduction master class, Style will tell students over and over again that we’re not concerned with dogma, with marking out philosophical territory, and with fanatically following any one prescription. Style always says that we simply focus on what works. And to determine what works, you’ve got to be willing to experiment in the field, to do things that might be out of your comfort zone, and engage in some debates now and then.
So in the interest of debating the idea of deleting dating apps and their inherent value (or lack thereof) to your social life, we decided to print the responses of some of the people who emailed in their thoughts.
Ditch ‘Em: Dating Apps are Time Sucks
The following people (among many others) agreed with Emma’s prescription for deleting dating applications:
“I agree a 1000%,” Mike D wrote. “I don’t know why someone has to explain this to people. One doesn’t use an ‘app’ to find and cultivate good friendships so why would one expect to do so for relationships? Nothing replaces an in person interaction, not even video chats.”
“Great email!” Derek wrote. “Very well written and thought out. Dating apps are time wasters and social inhibitors, and the attraction to them is very misplaced. I’ve passed this on to a few app addicts that can benefit from it.”
“Points well made!” Drumz wrote. “When it comes to living in this every increasing digital world, I’d rather be in a rowboat at sea than building ships in a bottle. Thank you to all the great minds and generous souls at SLA… You’re truly helping to make this place we call home a better place — one person at a time.”
“Great newsletter from Emma!,” said Tarzan. “Refreshing to hear from a woman. Her femininity came through her words and fascinating -and rare- insights into a woman emotions. On dating apps: I think they’re bad. It’s a matter of GOOD MANNERS too. If you’re out with someone, you don’t want to ignore them and go catatonic ’cause of your phone.”
“That was great,” Jeff wrote. “You should have her write more.”
“Or to put it another way, Emma, you and your friends are growing up,” B said.
What are You Thinking? Dating Apps are Great!
A number of people had different experiences with dating applications and strongly advised that they could be a useful part of your social toolbox. Here are some of the emails against giving up the app addiction.
“This isn’t entirely true,” Patrick commented. “I have had exceptional experience with dating apps. I have gone on a date and got into a long term relationship with a woman through online dating. The statistic Emma pulled from the small example may hold some truth, but people across the globe have found love through online dating.”
“I don’t know about this one, boss,” a reader with ties to Clemson wrote. “A lot of awesome women have contacted me through the internet and great relationships have been forged. Just convey personality and you’re straight. I don’t know why you can’t just do both. Real world and net.”
“Should we be embracing change and evolving our game regardless of the playing field,” Dave wrote. ” I have a Tinder account and have had much success using the text game knowledge I received from the month-long module I completed (I’ve even turned down dates). It seems to me if your profile conveys enough value and you practice at being a more diverse and complete person that all would be fine. I think that rather than alluding to the fear of online dating and apps, we should demonstrate a way to succeed at them.”
“Is this chick Emma kidding herself?” Dave wrote. “Or just us? I’ve had great success from online dating. It’s a regular source for getting laid, meeting great women, having several quality relationships with women I would NEVER find in bars and clubs, and is a lot of fun. Sometimes it’s super easy, sometimes it’s a bit more work. But if you have game, my lord, it’s not a crutch or anything negative, it’s a free online source for sex and romance. I’ve also had major success in the bar and club scene and other areas of the ‘real world’ and can talk to and attract a woman I meet by chance if I am also attracted to her past her having a nice butt or whatever. Since I’m busy and have put in many years in the mean trenches of NYC’s nightlife and have lived beyond my wildest fantasies, online is a Godsend for someone who has become BORED beyond belief from going out with dudes to meet women to get laid.
Instead, I now spend an evening with a beautiful and hopefully amazing woman and enjoy sharing a great bottle of wine over candlelight in my favorite first or second date place. Worse case is I have a great time, best case is I sleep with her and don’t have a hangover. Then I take it from there.
**I dare you to have the balls to print this in full context because I think expert Emma is totally full of it and shouldn’t be instructing men, young or older, in the art of seduction/pickup/dating or whatever you want to call it. Online dating is an AMAZING source for women, great sex, and great relationships.”
“I have no problem with people using apps. No matter how many people I meet, there will always be people I’d never meet if it weren’t for apps,” Mark wrote. “Rock on.”
What Do YOU Think?
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