Calibration is a major sticking point for many people. It can be a real challenge because it’s something that you’re always doing while in the field. You never calibrate for a moment, and then forget all about it while you focus on something else. It’s like a basketball player who needs to always be aware of the ball, whether he’s on offense or setting up on defense, setting a pick or blocking out.

To break through calibration and other sticking points, check out Style’s Sticking Point Destoryer Kit.

In the meantime, here is a fun exercise you can use today in the field. It works best with a seated group of two or more people who look easy-going.

Your assignment is to guess how they know each other.

• Are they related?
• Roommates?
• Friends from work?
• In a relationship?
• On a date?
• Taking a class together?

Make an educated your guess. Then walk up, ask, and find out if you’re correct.

Your calibration skills will not only help you guess correctly, they’ll also help you pose the question in a way that doesn’t make the group feel like it’s part of a laboratory experiment.

For example, you can say: “You have to help me quickly settle a debate I was just having with my friend. We noticed you all talking, and he said you guys probably all work together. I guessed you were friends from college.”

If they give you a funny look—, which will only happen one time in five—, acknowledge the oddness of the situation by saying something like, “I know, strange question, but he’s into psychology. He does this stuff all the time. Then I have to do the dirty work.” It helps, of course, if you’re actually with a friend.

Make sure you’re smiling, your approach comes from a place of healthy curiosity, they know you’re not asking in a judgmental way, and you use a time constraint.

If the conversation goes so well that you end up joining the group for a while, take the opportunity to stock your social circle with some new faces.