A lot of men feel the negative emotions associated with Approach Anxiety crop up when they see a woman who catches their eye. Quite often, those negative feelings are related to the inordinate amount of pressure the man puts on the situation. You might do something similar to this:
“I have to make a good impression or she’s going to laugh at me. I’ve got to knock her socks off right away!”
Or…
“My god, she’s the perfect woman. If I don’t get her number, I’m always going to regret it.”
Or…
“Joe has already gotten three phone numbers tonight. I’ve gotta keep up or the guys will make fun of me.”
Because of those expectations that are placed on the interaction, of course you feel nervous. You’ve built this scenario up to the be the final at-bat in the World Series of Love. However, you can keep a set of more proper expectations in place and more successfully keep Approach Anxiety at bay by simply being genuinely interested.
Ever notice that you feel really good when someone expresses a genuine interest in you? People appreciate others who like them and make them feel important. Nothing creates this flow better than an attitude of curiosity, flexibility, and genuine interest. You like being viewed as someone whose opinion matters on the latest movies or someone who has good taste in restaurants. Well, all humans feel this way. So an effective way to meet other people (and hold off Approach Anxiety) is to simply ask questions that you are genuinely interested in.
Don’t read movie reviews. Don’t read restaurant reviews. If you want to know something, then go out and ask people about it.
Instead of the scenarios above where you see an attractive woman and suddenly think, “I have to get her phone number,” just go into with a mindset of learning something. Nothing more, nothing less. Then, regardless of the outcome of the interaction, you have learned something valuable. There’s no way you can “lose.”
Genuine interest combats those negative feelings of Approach Anxiety every time.