One of the biggest obstacles that every social artist encounters is Approach Anxiety. Every man fears the social and sexual humiliation of being blown out, plus it is evolutionarily hardwired into our systems from our history as a tribal society. Over the generations, we have learned to shield ourselves, to protect ourselves from harm. As a result, we don’t like to take risks. Back in the caveman days, it was probably helpful to avoid unnecessary risks, when simply stepping outside the circle of the campfire could result in being eaten by a sabertooth tiger. That’s how it was ingrained in our behavior.
But today, Approach Anxiety does very little except prevent you from meeting interesting people. It can harm your social life and even affect your career development.
Busting through Approach Anxiety is an extensive topic that pickup artists and men changing their social lives can intensively study for long periods of time. It’s a seemingly endless topic.
However, that doesn’t mean there aren’t simple, concrete steps you can take this very moment to get a handle on your Approach Anxiety. Below are snippets of just a few of simple tips for overcoming Approach Anxiety:
1. Don’t just wait to interact once you get to the club:
If you know you’re going out that day, interact BEFORE you get to the club. Talk to the cab driver, the deli guy, whoever you come across. That way you’ll be warmed up BEFORE you get to the club.
2. Utilize warm up sets:
Talk to any woman you encounter. Don’t wait until you see your ideal lady and then you’re faced with this momentous, pressure-laden situation. Instead, talk to any woman, just to get in the flow. And you never know… At first glance, you might think she’s not your type, but once you start interacting with her, you might discover that she’s a great match.
3. Remember your last success like it just happened:
Think about that success in the present tense. Even if you’re recalling the time you pitched a perfect game in high school or a made a great speech in college, conjure up those feelings as though you just experienced them. Don’t put a past-tense lens on the experience. Feel it as though it just happened.
4. Always follow the Three Second Rule:
Don’t wait longer than three seconds to approach. If you wait, you’ll hesitate, psych yourself out, and it will be much, much harder.
5. Be non-reactive seeking:
No matter how good you are, if you are reaction seeking…YOU LOSE! Your only goal should be to interact with a new person. Don’t think, “I’ve got to get her number” or “I have to get her to like me.” Just interact with no expectations.
Check back for more techniques and tips on handling Approach Anxiety. But these simple tips will certainly get you started right now.