• Is that my target’s boyfriend?
• What if the guy is a dick and makes me look bad?
• What if the guy is protective of her and actively works against me?
There’s no reason to worry. Most guys are just looking for some respect – that’s why I want you to remember this one lesson:
Put yourself into his shoes.
Ask yourself the following question: “If I were in his place, what would a guy have to do to win my respect?”
Talk to the Guy First
Approaching the guy and talking to him about something he is interested in will generally get you into the set and show the girl that you aren’t there for her. If the guy rides up on a motorcycle – tell him you’re interested in getting one and ask for advice on what to get. If the guy is smoking a cigar, tell him you just started smoking and want to know how to pick one. Rarely have I faced any difficulty in generating conversation if I acted as though I was interested in their opinion.
Some keys to this technique:
• Give the guy your full attention, body language included.
• Ignore the girls in the first few moments of the conversation.
• If the girls jump in, respond to them, but keep the attention on the guy, until you feel like you’re welcome in the group. Hint: if he introduces you to the group – you’re in.
• Ask follow up questions whenever he responds to prove that you’re interested in his response.
• If you’re having trouble working the group – figure out a non-needy way to buy the guys a round of drinks.
Introduce the Men in the Group to New Women
Most guys have trouble meeting women. Any chance they get to meet someone new will excite them. Take a moment to open a few girls that you’re not particularly interested in. Once you’ve built some rapport introduce that group to the mixed group you’re interested in talking too. The guys will be happy to have some new women to talk to and you will have social proof and preselection on your side when to begin talking to the women in the mixed group.
Make sure to ask, “How do you all know each other?”
Get used to asking this question to every group you open, but most importantly, get used to asking it in mixed groups. It will alert you to any pre-existing romantic relationships in the group. It will also give you some great places to springboard into follow up conversation.
The “this guy is being a drunken bastard and nothing else is working” fail-safe.
Inevitably, you will run into the guy that is just too drunk and/or too obnoxious to deal with in any respectable manner. It happens. Many of us have even been that guy. I know I have. So here’s my trick I use for dealing with this particular character:
Kill him with Kindness
…in the form of very strong shots of liquor.
Here’s what you say: “Hey man, you’re fucking hilarious. Let me get you a drink before I take off.” Then buy him two shots.
I suggest one Bacardi 151 or a Four Horseman. If he’s already so drunk that he can’t be dealt with – this should take him over the edge. And he’ll probably love you for it, because you thought he was awesome and rewarded him with more awesome fuel. While he’s sick in the bathroom or sleeping in a chair you can connect with the girls.
Tip: Don’t judge the guy for drinking. If the girls say something about him – just say: “I never judge a guy for getting drunk, we’ve all been there.”