In the game of life, assets like wings, pivots, and other social proof weigh just as heavy if not heavier than your skill level or attractive qualities. So it’s vital to leverage your friends and social assets.
Before we get into expanding your social circle lets take a look at some added stress you may be putting on yourself that directly relates to your success infield. If you are going out with a mentality of picking up women you may be putting extra, unnecessary pressure on yourself. The most successful mentality to convey to others is that you are a fun loving social guy who is out having a good time. You already have plenty of friends and love interests and if a new one comes along, well great, you don’t mind having more friends and lovers, if they prove their worth. This means that in order to go out with a mentality of picking up women, and do it successfully, you have to put on a front of not caring. This incongruence can cause added stress.
So start going out not to pick up women, but just to enjoy being a fun social guy.
If you get in this state of mind, you will eliminate outcome dependency and make going out to any venue fun as opposed to stressful in anyway. With this new mentality you will attract even more people and find it much easier to approach gain rapport with the people you meet.
Now when you decide to go out with your fun social guy mentality, what do you do? Your best bet is to go out, with a mixed group of friends, male and female, who are trained wings and pivots, to a place where you have built in social proof. Since you already know everyone and everyone is on your side it will be pretty easy to make friends with anyone you don’t know. Of course this is an ideal scenario. How does one get a large group of friends and pivots to go out with them? The answer is easy; you spend some time picking up wings and pivots.
First let’s take a look at how to pick up a wing (a guy who is a true PUA grade friend.) First thing you will want to do is approach guys who you feel like you might have something in common with. Maybe it is the environment, maybe it is a clothing brand, and maybe they are obviously trying to meet women. The more you think you will have in common the easier and more rewarding approaching will be. Guys can be opened the way women can, though you use more neutral openers. Really the only difference is that attraction is DHV based, rapport is commonality based, and all they want is respect. Since you don’t have to worry about sleeping with them it is pretty easy to reach a hook point and focus on rapport. Once you are in rapport with a potential wing teach him a little bit about pickup, you could end up with a friend for life.
Now let’s talk about picking up a pivot (a woman who is a true PUA grade friend.) There are two easy ways to do this. Either go out to meet a woman as a friend or take a woman who you are already talking to and failing with and turn her into a friend before the relationship implodes. All you have to do is run normal game on her, but leave out about half of your attraction and seduction game and focus a little more on comfort game. Amping up rapport can be done at anytime and will almost always save you if you are in the “she isn’t returning my phone calls” stage. Instead of approaching a group simply with the woman you want to meet in mind, approach to become friends with all of them. The women will love you if they no you aren’t trying to hijack any of the friends in their group.
A word of warning however, your new pivots are going to see you with other women, so you have to really make sure they are in friends zone because the jealousy may cause them to want to break out and interfere with your meeting new people, thus diminishing their effectiveness as a pivot.
Since most groups of people you meet will have men and women in them it is important to know how to convert the entire group to friends or lovers and not just the woman you are trying to pick up. For every woman you extract out of a group before you have good rapport with the rest of the group, you have missed a great networking opportunity. Every guy in that group was a potential wing that could introduce you to 10 more groups with 10 more potential lovers in them. Every woman in the group who you ignored is a potential pivot who could have helped you open groups instantaneously. And don’t forget each of these people has their own social circle they are just waiting to introduce you to.
With both wings and pivots you need to set up a Day 2 and invite them out to hang and be a pivot or wing. And then brief them on being good pivots and wings.
Adapting the mentality of a fun social guy and approaching to expand your social circle, should result in you having more friends and lovers in a shorter period of time than you could have ever hoped with just focusing on picking up women. So if you have found yourself a little stressed out by the idea of going out to pick up women or just want to expand your social circle or cache of wings and pivots try applying some of these tactics to your life tonight.